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so this evening I attended a traditional orthodox wedding ceremony which I must say I tend to have critiqued and experienced is quite differently having been a guest rather than the one officiating.
I wouldn’t say that I or this rabbi had a better way of doing things. But in essence, we seem really speak off what’s really love , a true love is about in our respective styles.
It also brought about the revelation that lately the phrase “a better way” seems to be appearing in many different contexts for me lately. Now in the 35 years that I’ve experienced the world to what many would say has been a rough life I don’t think I would ever necessarily say that there ever really existed a better way, rather as I like to think about it, just different style and ways to approach situations or circumstances ultimately arriving to the same place, just traveling to that place living in a different set of experiences.
What I do know however is that my way and how I do things or approach to things is always done with prioritizing others, and with always aanting to maintain my integrity. in my life I’ve been accused of not knowing when to let go even if that meant compromising my values or my integrity.
And truth be told no matter how hard or difficult of times I have faced what I have learned about myself is that I’d rather lose everything and anything then lose myself or my integrity because to me that is what is that the center of my soul. Doing so would put me dancing with the devil.
In the past week I needed to make some difficult choices and rather then making choices that would probably yield some quicker resolutions in allowing me to move on from what has to come to be not only my hobby but my reality. I choose the most difficult and the longer of options not because I’m crazy or don’t know when to let go; but because to me there isn’t a better way but the honest way and right way.
One of the stories I reference often from the bible is from the very first book genesis, the very first chapter where eve responds to g-d as to why she ate the forbiddin fruit and she claims it was because she was naked. Meaning she had nothing. It was that very gesture and because she broke the rules that we as the people have come to know g-d punishment that man shall experience death.
The lesson from this book of genesis is that eve did not have the foresight of knowing she really had everything she needed. And so as much as one may have made choices that lead to a quick resolve and be able to have guarantees, I’d rather be guaranteed my integrity and risk having only what I came into this world with then guaranteed something that ultimately I will depart this world without. Because in the end as long as I have my soul and my integrity I have everything I need.