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I have to say that this week has been one of many emotions. I come in the presence of someone I haven’t seen in a whilev. Part of me on the inside wanted so much to smile and stretch my arms hold for a hug and warm embrce whereas the rest of me crippled with hurt and pain which I think most of all, the strongest of hurt is not even being able to be looked in the face.
The past few days, I’ve relived a lot around my many illnesses and so many moments that have been some of the hardest struggles of my life; it does beg the question for me of what was the point of fighting to live?
And as tired and exhausted as I am this evening, as I had alluded to in my earlier posts this was the start of a a journey to the future and set in motion things beyond my control next week only to be in magnified week as this week and more next.
I’m sadden when i reflect on things and how life can so drastically change even when we wish that it would so not have been.
I’ve watched hypocriticism at its best where a walk around the Bible Belt I assume one may think absolves oneself of sin, the sin of lying. I think hypocriticms has its way of putting a foot in ones mouth.but I know such is never absolved without some impact. And I suppose that in enough itself is the reason I hide and bury ones face and not look another in the eye.
Burying one’s face is certainly a shame that is warranted i believe as the holiest of matriarchs lived by the virtue of others and not themselves