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A blank title seems appropriate as I sit here with no words to describe the despicable , deplorable, inhumanistic, and certainly alot more detestable acts that have been committed against me (certainly a lot more detestable than me being a homosexual) .
After months of enduring acts and crimes of frauds, larcenies, identity theft, mail tampering, forgery, conspiracy, and conversion to name a few, news this morning unfolded of an arrest to be made (which wasn’t a surprise or unexpected); ironically twas the first sign of any acknowledgement of my existence in months with a simple look and a shake of the head in disdain. As if the disappointment not in the offenses being committed itself but rather in the fact of getting caught and being held responsible was an even worse offense.
Today is by no great means one I celebrate or that I even turn a smile to; rather it saddens me even more to the fact that more than anything in the world I wish the choices and actions chosen were not what they are or I should even go so far as to say that were allowed (as I do not believe they were committed by one single individual alone but by several, who unfortunately now allow one to take the fall for them all). Where there are still several open investigation and federal levels it is sad then I’ve seen people lie and continue to lie to cover up more lies due to greed and selfishness . I can tell you first hand there ain’t anything that’s holy and on ones day of reckoning as I’ve been there several times reconciling my life at the end of the day, none of that matters because none of that goes with you.
My heart hurts and my existence is painful in needing to separate Love (for someone which I think to the day I die I will always wish had been true) and a need to put an end to being victimized, fiscally harmed and stollen from.
While I laid in hospital beds in an out of surgeries fighting for my life my life was ultimately stolen from me; my trust betrayed and forgiveness had been extended only to being overshadowed with an even greater degree for a natural sense of self and greed that allowed for even more lies upon lies, upon lies. All which ultimately led inflicting such distress and victimized me to such an extent that on Sept 26, a 34 year old to suffer a stroke.
I will concur with one remark spoken up on me today and that is the good Lord does watch, and frequenting a church doesn’t absolve sin when sin is relentless, is greedy and repeated, over and over.