To celebrate or not to celebrate that is the question

It’s been two years since I’ve seen the inside of my own home, having left with two duffel bags of clothes leaving behind tons possessions, clothes, even all three of the Hanukkah menorah is my own to my name. 

For some reason this year I’m first noticing the fact that I don’t even have a Hanukkah menorah and haven’t had one in the past two years. 

Two years ago I spent Christmas Eve Christmas day and my birthday barely getting off my sofa having received a copy of a cross motion that was first filed filled with nothing but hurtful lies that was delivered to me on Christmas Eve. I would say the timing was probably impeccable and was on purpose.
Last year for some reason I can’t even recall what I did and this year going day by day knowing that my mom’s health is in constant decline and trying to com to grips with my mothers mortality.  At the same time, coming to grips with the fact that “family”, both my own and my husband’s conspired to ruin a marriage, commit white-collar crimes in our respective names to launder and extort hundreds of thousands of dollars for, by and to benefit those that follow and believe in evangelical Christian teachings.

So the holidays don’t exactly seem like holidays, and maybe I sound like the Grinch that stole Christmas, but perhaps I should be wishing the Grinch on these people as for my Christmas wish.

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