With Courage, conviction & a strong sense of self!!

Today my cousins Michelle and Susan reminded about what family standing together is all about.

After weeks of snaring texts back and forth with my sisters, and constant flip flopping, changing and twisting stories to utter silence in communicating any logically sounding updates on my mother's condition, my two cousins along with my cousins boyfriend came in from New Jersey to check, see for themselves and visit with my mom.

Not surprisingly though quite interestingly not only were the three of them by hospital security asked for ID upon arriving at Woodhall Hospital, but then they were all informed by such security "the son is not allowed" which left them in surprise that the hospital volunteers this information but interestingly one would think I was a convicted criminal although wait they do bring criminals to Woodhull Hospital for care and treatment; thus leaves me pondering how I'm categorized then :-).

Again in more than a month in at least four documented requests of this hospital to furnish such restriction in writing the hospital has failed to respond there by obviously establishing that restriction is potentially unethical, potentially unlawful and without merit that the facility seems to be covering their backside and refusing to furnish it in writing!

More importantly the real importance and focus is my mother's health and well being. My cousins boyfriend return downstairs to me in less than five minutes and I could see the look on his face where he was apparently in shock himself at my mothers appearance and condition.

My mother apparently does have a tracheotomy, feeding tubes and is now on day 52 still been kept under fentynol sedation and it appears to have aged 100 years.

My cousins said my mom acknowledged them in her opening and closing her eyes for them as they spoke to her and they sent my love and words communicated over text while I'm left standing outside not having been allowed for nearly a month now for no reason at all except "you know what you did" as a response from half drunk hospital security guards at Woodhull.

The irony in all this is that, this is about my dear mother (or should be) and ensuring her comfort and peace.

While some may disagree that I maintain a blog which is my lawful First Amendment right to do so, especially one that is a factual biographical account of a very painful journey I've endured the past 3 1/2 years, and those that do not agree with my blog do not have to follow it or read it, or voluntarily visit it, such yields within the past 24 hours the following outbursts which clearly have no care, cause or concern or concern for my mother's well-being, her comfort or peace rather are bitter outbursts from individuals who hold abusive histories one fired from the NYC BD of Ed for grabbing a child and practical nervous breakdown in the classroom and the other who's had Child Protective services banging down her door. And who have disgustingly joined in creating rumors mirroring another sibling alleging my father of certain reprehensible conduct for which my father may be a lot of things but my father certainly is nothing what the siblings even allege.

What is becoming clear is that the heat has gotten a little too hot in the kitchen and that more more pieces are coming together for which my husband was only trying to protect me from and I unfairly blamed him.it only took me 3 1/2 years and to lose my husband to understand what he meant in responding "whatever he did he did for us." From that I own such blame and carry my loss.

What is also starting to make a lot more sense in my dad's more recent rants of "I'll have you arrested" it wasn't him threatening me but in fact more likely him trying to convey threats being thrown upon him and sending him into a scared frenzy while the man is losing his wife. All because the heat is getting a bit too hot in the kitchen.

My dear mother who I pray is comfortable and peaceful in her current state always taught us growing up that the truth always comes out and it always does.

And of course the three year ago same threats thrown around from one sister for which if you take note of the inconsistency in punctuation and spacing it's obvious that this is not an authentic true and accurate exchange but nonetheless one offered up by the same sibling dating back to 2014.

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